In coping with miscarriage it may help you to understand some of the possible reasons you have lost your baby. We believe it is more important to understand what did not cause the loss of your baby. This section will hopefully untangle and clarify some of the myths of miscarriage and relieve the guilt and blame that plague so many couples. 

Stress: All soon to be parents worry about their pregnancy. It is a normal emotion. Every day we cope with emotional stress, and at times may be thrown into tragic and traumatic situations which may take the entire pregnancy and beyond to recover from. Babies are born every day into even the most distressing of circumstances. 

Exercise: While in general, this is a practice which enriches the health of both mother and baby and is not a widely recognized risk of miscarriage, there are a few guidelines. Raising your heart rate above 140 beats per minute will begin to reduce the amount of oxygen to your baby. You should also never work to the point of exhaustion or feeling faint. Listen to your body. 

Poor eating habits: Trust us when we say that the baby will rob you of all of the nutrients it needs to grow and develop. While poor eating habits do increase the risk of a low birth weight baby with possible disabilities, as well as leave you in a poor physical and psychological state, it is not considered a reasonable cause of miscarriage. 

Sex: Sexual activity as a possible cause of miscarriage is a common misconception especially among men. While female orgasm may cause mild uterine contractions and a small amount of spotting, unless your healthcare provider has advised otherwise your baby will be kept safe and should not be a concern regarding possible miscarriage. 

Lifting: With use of proper lifting techniques (ex. squatting and lifting with your legs), pregnancy loss is not a factor. Your body will let you know when you’ve done too much usually long before any significant damage has occurred.  During the second and third trimester heavy lifting may cause pain, which is usually caused by the straining of one of the round ligaments which support the uterus. If this is accompanied by bleeding or the pain is severe your healthcare provider should be notified. 

Drinking before you knew you were pregnant: While drinking during a known pregnancy may have significant ramifications on your baby’s development, the baby receives so little maternal blood during the first few weeks after implantation, it is also not considered a risk for miscarriage. 

Falls, fender benders and other minor mishaps: Usually these events will not threaten your pregnancy. The mother’s bones, muscles, and amniotic fluid are designed to protect the baby. All mothers will get bumps and bruises and will trip and run into thing as a growing belly throws off her center of balance. A slight mishap should not be of significant concern, but with all injuries your healthcare provider should be notified. 

Getting kicked or hit in the stomach: The issue we are addressing here is an accidental, minor blow to the belly. Examples would include a kick in the night by a restless child sleeping with you, or an overthrown soccer ball. You may feel a bit sore, but again, maternal bones, muscles, and amniotic fluid provide plenty of protection for such incidents. We ARE NOT speaking about hitting or kicking by your partner or another adult. This is not an accident or a minor mishap. It is abuse, and the last thing you want to do as a loving and protective mother is bring your precious baby into a violent situation. If you are in need of assistance, please refer to our resource page for immediate help. 

Losing a child will always create a sense of guilt. It is a normal progression in the grieving process. So many myths persist regarding the loss of a baby as it is rarely discussed- even between couples. While some of these events named may have occurred shortly before the loss of your baby it is most likely just coincidence. It is simply a fact that some babies will just not make it into the world. We hope clarifying these myths will help lift a tremendous burden from both you and your partner and alleviate blame that often accompanies the loss of a baby.